


You’re No Good

by GuineapigQueen



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, Teenage Pregnancy, craig is really dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 04:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14969237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuineapigQueen/pseuds/GuineapigQueen
Summary: He knows he shouldn’t have let this go on, let the lies get this out of hand but he just can’t seem to come clean every time Tweek looks at him.





	You’re No Good

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scarlettshazam (thepinupchemist)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepinupchemist/gifts).



> For @scarlettshazam for her birthday, hope it gave you a smile. Thanks to @pbjellie for the beta job.
> 
> Obviously this contains mpreg so if that’s not you’re thing keep on walking :)

Soundtrack: You’re No Good - Major Lazer 

The winter chill in South Park is bitingly bitter but Craig is grateful for it. The cold weather means baggy clothes and layers.

He knows he shouldn’t have let this go on, let the lies get this out of hand, but he just can’t seem to come clean every time Tweek looks at him.

He’s terrified of everyone figuring out just how fucking pregnant he is.

It’s getting dire though, because even the oversized hoodies he’s been relying on this whole time are starting to feel smaller and smaller.

He used to kind of have his own style too, mostly band tees and ripped jeans but still his nonetheless. Now he’s living in giant hoodies and sweatpants which he knows make him look dumpy, but at least they’re comfortable - at least they fit.

It’s his fault, probably; he was pretty stupid about the whole thing. He goes completely stupid when Tweek is around, though he doubts Tweek feels the same way about him. For as long as Craig has known him, Tweek has never committed to one person and seems to be with several people at a time. 

Craig is sure he isn’t the only one. He has no real proof, but there’s no way Tweek would settle for him.

Craig never thought Tweek would look twice at him, so when they hooked up at a party Craig wasn’t really expecting anything. But it just kind of… kept going.

Craig was so stupidly in love, he’d take Tweek any way he could have him.

He knows that he should tell him, give him some kind of autonomy - he’d want Tweek to tell him if the roles were reversed. But he just can’t, because every time he passes Tweek in the school hallway something squeezes at his heart. He has to duck his head to avoid Tweeks radiant smile and power walk away as fast as he can. It’s not just Tweek that Craig is avoiding, either. He’s stopped attending the parties he used to get so trashed at and he’s been distancing himself from Token, Jimmy and Clyde as well. He knows it’s game over when somebody from school figures it out.

///

He only goes to the gathering at Token’s house because he’s promised that just the main gang will be there. That it isn’t a party, it’s just them hanging out and playing video games. Craig concedes even though he knows Tweek will be there. His social life is so non existent that he’s going to lose his mind if he has to spend another weekend alone in his bedroom.

And it isn’t bad, even if Craig kind of feels oddly out of place and can’t really keep his mind in the present. He’s struggling to focus on the games they’re playing, but he’s having a good time nonetheless.

He’s huddled in the right hand corner of Token’s couch, swimming in his faithful hoodie and a warm blanket. He’s trying not to fixate on Tweek insisting on being under the blanket with him and the feeling of Tweek’s thigh pressed against his own. Tweek hasn’t tried anything with him, he’s just in his very close proximity.

Even before he was desperately trying to hide a pregnancy, that always made his heart beat a little faster.

Tweek doesn’t try to push him or pry - they mostly just coexist in each other’s spaces. Every now and then Tweek will try to catch his eyes and hold his gaze. He always looks a little dejected when Craig doesn’t.

Tweek watches Craig reject the bottle of Jack Daniels they’re passing around the five of them with a meaningful look.

At this point Craig knows he’s definitely too far gone to have an abortion so he figures he won’t fuck up the kid’s life like fucked up his own. Maybe he could do school from home for a few months, pretend he has mono and give the kid up. Tweek would never even have to know, but Craig knows he can’t do that - for the same reason that he couldn’t abort the baby. It’s Tweek’s kid, and like Craig is stupidly attached to Tweek, he also is to his kid. God, he’s going to have to tell his parents and everything.

“I’ve missed you,” Tweek says quietly in Craig’s ear, and he drapes his arm around Craig’s shoulders. His face is so close to Craig’s own he can feel Tweek’s breath hot on his face; it smells like Jack Daniels. 

“I don’t feel like it tonight, Tweek,” Craig says meekly, and isn’t a lie, not really.

He’s way too tired to do anything sexy, even if he wanted to. Even now he wants to just curl up and sleep. Which he knows, compared to his former hard partying self, would seem completely out of character to his friends.

“No I didn’t mean… we can just -ah- cuddle,” Tweek says, frowning.

“I kinda just want my own space tonight,” Craig replies, cringing as he does so.

“What’s going on with you man? Do you not -hnn- like m- our... thing anymore?” Tweek actually sounds upset and Craig feels genuinely awful for making him feel insecure. He wishes he could just get his act together but at the same time he’s petrified of ruining Tweek’s life.

“No I just… I haven’t been feeling well. Headaches and stuff,” he mumbles. It’s such a poor excuse.

“Okay,” Tweek says quietly. “You’d -nnn- tell me if there was something wrong, right?”

“Absolutely,” Craig says, as guilt twists through his belly.

///

Craig wakes up on Monday morning with a vague feeling of nausea - not like I’m-going-to-spill-my-guts-right-here-and-now nausea. But a background kind that he just kind of gets sometimes, and some days are just easier than others.

He gets up anyway, even though he’d rather roll over and stay in bed, because he knows his mother will be cross if he tries to have another day off. He knows that she knows that something is up. Either she’s figured it out and not confronting him for some reason or she doesn’t know what’s happening but she knows something is.

In his haze he suddenly remembers that he forgot to wash his beloved hoodies. He doesn’t have an endless supply even though he wishes he did. When he got back from Token’s on the Sunday he’d just crashed and curled himself under mountains of blankets. He completely forgot about the laundry he was supposed to be doing. His brain has been all over the place lately - he’s normally great at math, but lately he’s been struggling.

He groans for show as he rests his head on the kitchen counter.

“No,” his mother says, straight away.

“Please,” he whines, “I really don’t feel good.”

“You say that every other week. You’re falling behind,” she says sternly.

“I think it’s a migraine, please,” he begs. He has to get today off. He wore the last shirt that hides his belly to bed. Everyone, especially Tweek, is gonna find out. Hell, his mother is going to find out right here, right now if he doesn’t.

“Fine,” she sighs, “but get somebody to bring around your homework. And actually do it - I don’t care how bad your headache is.”

“Thank you,” Craig says, the relief hitting him in the chest and almost leaving him breathless.  
She ignores him as he drags himself back upstairs to his bedroom. She’s already disappointed in him; it’s going to get so much worse.

Perhaps karma is out to get Craig, because only a few hours after his parents leave for work, and his sister for school, he starts to get the first signs of an aura. At least he isn’t faking anymore, and his mother won’t be so irritated with him. He texts Clyde to ask him to bring his homework around - his mom might actually kill him if he doesn’t do it.

He turns all the lights off and tries to bury himself in his blankets, but he really struggles to get comfortable. His stomach is getting heavier and making his back hurt a lot more lately. The extra weight of the baby makes him feel uncomfortable regardless and he’s just not used to his belly being this size and shape. 

Most days he wishes it would just go away, then hates himself for thinking it.  
He’s not sure if he can take his migraine medication while pregnant so, unlike a regular person who might check with a doctor or at least google it, he just doesn’t. Inaction and indecision are his specialties.

He just lays there in the dark until he eventually falls into a fitful and restless sleep.

///

He’s woken by a knock at his door and a quiet “Craig?” Which he assumes must be Clyde. He just groans in response before he realises what’s actually happening. The sound of his door opening throws him into action and he scrambles to pull the blanket up over his stomach.

“How are you -nghh- how are you feeling man?” the voice, which clearly belongs to Tweek, asks him. Shit.

“You’re not Clyde,” he says dumbly.

“Clyde told me you were out sick and I volunteered to bring you your -ah- homework. You doing okay?” he asks, sitting himself down on the chair at Craig’s desk.

“Migraine,” Craig grumbles.

“Yeah? Just a -nghh- migraine, really?” Tweek prods. Now? Really. Are they going to do this now. When he feels like his head has been put through a blender. Tweek knows to strike while his defences are down.

“Yeah,” Craig says flatly.

“C’mon Craig, do I -hnn- really have to say it?” Tweek says, holding Craig’s gaze in a way that makes him squirm. God, he’s gonna spill his guts isn’t he?

“What?” Craig tries to play dumb. He can't, won’t, say it out loud.

“You’re clearly pregnant, you fucking idiot,” Tweek says, more with annoyance than anger. Craig is genuinely stunned by the bluntness of his tone.

“I… no,” he says, unable to really recover from Tweek’s assault.

“When were you going to -gah- tell me, man? Were you going to tell me?” Tweek sounds a little angrier now, betrayal evident in his voice.

And Craig doesn’t know the answer. Never, he’d hoped. Although he knows that isn’t realistic and that he’d have to tell everyone eventually, but that was a future Craig problem, not a present Craig one.

“I… I guess when I had to,” he says, knowing exactly how stupid he sounds. It’s the only thing close to an answer he’s got.

“You’re such a -hnn- idiot, I’ve been waiting for you to tell me and you just -ah-didn’t? Did you really think I didn’t notice?” Tweek says, shaking his head.

If Tweek noticed does that mean everyone else had? Is Craig the laughing stock of the school without even realising? Craig just wants to dive under the covers and hide forever.

“I hoped you didn’t,” he says honestly. “I don’t want to ruin your life… I mean we’re not actually together and it was mostly my fault.”

“You do realise baby making takes two people, dude?” Tweek says with an eyebrow raised at him. Jesus, he feels dumb.

“Yeah but I just… I waited too long to decide and now I’m stuck.” He sighs.

If he wasn’t so indecisive this probably wouldn’t be happening. He could have given Tweek more of a say and maybe they’d have worked it out together. Or maybe Tweek would have told him to fuck off and he would have had a clearer idea of what to do. But the rejection wasn’t a risk he was willing to take.

“I thought you just -nghh- wanted to keep it, I mean, I wouldn’t hate that idea,” Tweek says awkwardly, fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat.

“How long have you known?” Craig asks.

“Uhhh, I started to put it together that time you puked in the garbage can when we -hnn- skipped school,” is Tweek’s answer. He bites his lip nervously but continues to hold Craig’s gaze. That was months ago now, like not long after Craig had figured out he was pregnant himself. Tweek had figured him out that early?

“That was ages ago Tweek, why didn’t you say-“

“Why didn’t you?” He cuts in. “I didn’t want it to be true at first man, but the idea kinda -nnn- grew on me,” he says, the last statement soft and kind.

Craig is floored. How can Tweek want a kid with a disaster like him? Tweek is wonderful, so smart and kind, and Craig is stupid and can’t even tell Tweek that he is having his baby - let alone that he loves him.

“I think I’m going to keep it, I sorta got attached,” he says quietly. He brings his hand up to rest on his stomach. He makes sure it’s under the blanket so that Tweek can’t see it. He’s not ready to show Tweek just how pregnant he actually is, and the shirt he’s wearing really doesn’t do a great job of concealing it.

“Yeah dude, I -ah- kind of want to as well. I didn’t really know how to bring it up with you. You just kept avoiding me,” Tweek says while staring down at his hands. Craig just stares at him like an absolute idiot.

“I didn’t want to at first but, I like that -nghh- it’s your kid. Not in a -gah- weird way okay!” he rambles in true Tweek fashion.

“Oh,” Craig says finally. “Er, me too. I um, I like that it’s yours. I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else’s I just… I figured that like, you could just find someone else to screw around with.”

Tweek is still looking at his hands; he’s wringing them nervously and jiggling his foot in the way he always does when he’s nervous.

“I uh, I’m only screwing around with you,” he says, barely above a whisper with his cheeks tinged red.

“Oh… me too,” Craig replies dumbly. Of all the ways this conversation went in his head this wasn’t a scenario he conjured.

“We could keep screwing around… just us,” Tweek suggests with a shrug.

“Yeah but like, not too serious right?” Craig asks, because he doesn’t want Tweek to think that he’s trying to trap him with a baby. He doesn’t want to be that guy.

“Right. I’ll just like look after you if you feel bad and -hnn- stay over when the baby’s born and stuff,” Tweek rambles, “if that’s what you want?”

“Yeah, I’d like that. You don’t have to like, marry me,” Craig says with a nod. “We don’t have to be a thing just because of the baby.”

“Nah, I’ll just be -ah- around more for you. For the baby,” Tweek asserts. “The baby needs both of us.”

“Definitely,” Craig replies, “for the baby.”

“It, um, it doesn’t have to be just sex,” Tweek stutters out. “I can like -gah- take you out to eat and cuddle you and stuff.”

“Yeah, totally. I- ...oh,” he cuts himself off, feeling a soft flutter in his stomach. He rests both hands there and looks over to Tweek.

“What? What? Does it hurt? Oh man, it’s too early!” Tweek yells, starting to work himself into one of his anxious spirals. Craig knows to stop that crazy train before it starts.

“Calm down dickhead,” he says calmly, “the baby just moved.”

Tweek looks at him with wide eyes. This kid’s timing is truly impeccable. “Whoa, no way.”

“That’s the first time I’ve felt anything. Maybe they like your voice?” Craig says, still a little dumbstruck from the sensation. It feels even more real now. That’s a living, breathing person moving around in there. The baby feels more like an individual and less like a concept.

“Can I like, feel man?” Tweek asks cautiously, clearly not wanting to overstep any of Craig’s boundaries.

“You can touch if you want, but I don’t think you can feel anything from the outside yet,” he says. Tweek moves to kneel at the side of Craig’s bed and Craig very slowly pulls the blanket down to expose his stomach. 

Tweek places his hand gently just under Craig’s own.

“Jesus Christ Craig,” he says, frowning.

“What?” Craig asks, panicking internally a little. Has Tweek changed his mind? Is he gonna leave? Tell everyone that Craig is pregnant and claim the baby isn’t his? Fuck, he never should have exposed himself like this.

“You’re just… you’re pregnant. Like -hnn- properly,” Tweek says, sounding surprised.

“You think I don’t know that?” Craig retorts sarcastically.

Tweek’s thumb strokes just under Craig’s belly button, the feeling warm and comforting. It makes him feel more at ease, even if he is painfully insecure about the roundness of his belly. He just doesn’t look like him anymore - the baby has taken over.

“No it’s just… you -ah- hid it better than I thought, I guess,” Tweek says. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner man? I missed so much.”

“Sorry,” Craig replies, shame creeping up his chest and making his cheeks burn hot. Guilt swirls in his stomach. It’s a pathetic answer but it’s all he’s got.

“It’s okay, we’ve kind of -nghh- talked about it now at least,” Tweek says kindly.

Craig is so fucking lucky to have someone like Tweek. Someone willing to put up with him and his poor decisions, someone understanding enough not to hate Craig for deciding to have a kid without him. Someone patient enough to want to stay. Someone who actually wants a kid with his stupid self.

“We can just be us, for now,” Tweek says, resting his head against Craig’s side.

“Yeah, just us,” Craig echoes, and he slips his hand over Tweek’s where it lies delicately over his stomach, to feel him too.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends :)


End file.
